Weight Loss Surgery - & Beyond

Is it nearly a year since I posted on here?

I guess you just get fed up with talking about it eventually - you go from it ('it' being my band) being at the centre of your every thought, to it becoming a little boring.

So. I will update on what's happened in the last year, eh?!

Me & Dave eventually sold both houses and moved into rented accomodation in February for 3 months, until our house was built, and moved into that at the end of April. It's lovely! We've been busy doing little bits and bobs inside the house, and enjoying the new garden we've had done - especially the shed/summerhouse - we've got a little tv in it and spend more time in there than the lovely new house - mad!

So... what about my weight? Well, as happens with bands, you learn how to eat round them, albeit subconciously - you pick "easy" foods, and because, initially, you ate so little, you could get away with high calorific foods. Obviously you can't continue to get away with that. So, I put around a stone on, but am currently working at it (and enjoying being back on track). I'm at Slimming World, and have lost 6lbs in two week.

Anyway, my relief (at work) is here, so I will have to continue this in more detail soon. Or sometime next year, lol!

I had a fill last week - from nothing nothing to 7.2 ml, despite my surgeon only wanting me to have a gentle fill.

I'm doing ok, can eat with no problems, although I did keep having problems last week, just after having it done. But I went steady, had suops, and it appears to be much better now.

Haven't been sick, or PB'd for a month now (ok, ok, all bar about 3 times). That's really good going! I'd got so I was being sick evrytime I ate previously, not even realising how damaging it is!
Anyway. It's silly oclock and I need to sleep. Just done this entry whilst I remembered.

Wednesday v Utd today.... we're all Wednesday, aren't we?

Photos on left - July 2007, 15 stone
Photos on right - Sept 2008, 11 stone

I've just had a horrendous time. I started with another sick attack last Friday (29th Aug), which lasted longer than ever before - started at 1am, and it continued right through the day, with no sleep, until 11pm - like, 22 hours.

However, the next day (Saturday), I had a wedding to go to - but I felt fine the next morning, all raring to go. Because the wedding was in a neighbouring town, we'd booked a room for the night, and was looking forward to a bit of a knees up. When I've had the sickness before, once it had finished (and providing I took it gently), I was ok the next day.

(Dave & Me at the wedding, a few hours before hospitalisation!)

However, this time was different.  I felt fine until the meal.  I'd taken it really steady, just one tiny mouthful of the starter (melon & berries), & a full bowl of soup with a tiny mouthful of bread.....  with the intention of eating only a mouthful of the desert.  About 10 mins after the soup, at around 6pm, I got very hot, went bright red and felt ill.  I tried going out for a breath of fresh air, to no avail. I ended up leaving Dave with the rest of the meal while I went up to the hotel room for a lie down.  The whole process started again though - I started being violently sick again.

I knew that my body couldn't really deal with a second 20 hour session of being sick/having no fluids inside me, etc, and phoned NHS direct.  They (eventually) advised me to go to the local hospital.  I did this at around 10pm, and had to wait for (what seemed like) a lifetime to be seen, with my paper kidney bowl in my hand.

I was seen, given anti sickness drugs (which didn't really work, they just took the edge off) - and was eventually admitted for an overnight stay.  I was hooked up to a drip to get fluids down - which made me feel a little bit better.

The ward was noisy, people snoring, nurses shouting, but I didn't feel much like sleeping anyway. 

The next day (Sunday), I started to feel better in the morning, got dressed and felt good.  Then I had a little cup of powdered ministrone soup.  Within ½ hr, same again, bright red face and feeling ill.  This time, I felt inconsolable.  The nurses had said it was ok to have the soup!  And worse of all, I knew that, once it had started, I was going to be a good 15 or so hours before I felt ok again - that's a long time when you're just at minute one.....

Every minute of waiting for your medication to come feels like three hours.  I asked for medication at around 7pm, and ended up waiting (crying) until 1am.   And even then, it only just took the edge off.

So, I had to stay in overnight again, and the following day (Monday), I was told to stick to protein drinks.  I had 1½ of these thick drinks, and started again at about 5pm.  Dispair doesn't come close.    I was sick again until Tuesday morning.

In the morning, a doctor who'd previously been the day before, visited again.  She was Spanish and had done some sort of project with my surgeon previously.  She had a knowledge about gastric banding that no one else there seemed to have (I'd had comments from nurses/doctors - such as "what's a gastric band?" and "what do you mean by a fill/defill?" - eeek!).  She made some phone calls - the result of which was my band providers insiting that I make my way over to them in Sheffield for an emergency defill.  Apparantly, my problem is common with being overfilled.  There was some concerns about who would foot the bill for the ambulance (!), but I was so desperate for treatment, I said I would make arrangements for someone to come collect me - thanks Andrew (my brother).

I had the defill  Mr Collins only seemed to take out 7.4ml from the band, which would be a loss of 0.4ml - rather than a gain.  However, there is a small amount of slippage - hopefully this isn't bad enough to require corrective surgery.  I guess its to be expected with how often I've been sick lately.

The funny thing is about all this, is that you get used to the way you are - or, at least, I do.  I've been struggling with the band for months, but didn't really realise that it wasn't normal.  That I shouldn't be sick after everything that goes in my mouth.  That I was, horrendously over-restricted for too long.

Well, now I have nothing in my band, and I'm going to have to rely to being good and dieting until I get some kind of a fill - and as I'm off to Turkey next week, and don't want any problems when abroad, I'm leaving it defilled until my return.  And when I do have a fill, I'm not going anywhere near where I was before.  I want to still be able to eat textured things, salads and healthy food, rather than liking on soups - how did I fall into that trap?  I'm not stupid, how did I not see that creeping upon me?

Anyway, hopefully it's the wake up call I needed to take more care of myself.

I got as low as 10st. 07lb in hospital, but as that was due to nearly a week of no fluids etc, it was unsustainable.  I'm now 10st. 10lb, which is still a decent loss.  Just need to maintain it. 

I'll post some photo's soon.

I've been getting worse and worse lately, having a bit of a nightmare, truth be known.

I've been (kinda) managing food - soups and sloppies in the main, but - and I'm aware of how bizarre this sounds - fluids just would not go down properly.

A drink of tea at work would be stuck in my throat for hours, before I was forced to throw it up. And this is not on top of food or anything. I've been having to sleep upright in bed as I'd choke in the night on whatever I'd drunk last.

This morning, after choking ALL NIGHT on some cough medicine the night before, I threw it all up, in tact, some 8 hours later. It'd just been stuck on the top of my pouch. All this is in addition to the reflux that I'd developed.

So, I went for a de-fill today - was dreading it but my bezzie mate Laila had the morning off work to come and give me moral support. She couldn't come in to the x-ray room, being pregnant (yay!), but it was a lovely gesture, nice to know she was there, and great to catch up - I didn't realise, but it's 4 months since we saw each other for one reason or another!

Anyway. This post is only to log what levels my fill is at now.

The last fill took me to 8.0 ml. Today, he took out 8.3 ml. I'd gained 0.3 ml! Again! No wonder I've been struggling so much. So today he's put back in 7.8 ml. That's to allow for me gaining anything, but will mean that I have to put more of an effort into diet and excersise. Went to the gym today though, and bought some new running shoes yesterday - going to try hard with it.

When I get a chance, I might have to update with my feelings about the whole Ferm Britton outing, and the media's total lack of knowledge in this area...

EDIT: I fitted into a pair of size 12 linen trou from Primark the other day - with no muffin top - woohoo!

I really ought to update more!

Well, since last I wrote, I've had a horrible time! I kept being sick, like, violently so, thought I'd had a sickness bug, except it happened 4 times, on 4 separate occasions, and followed the exact same timescale and pattern!

I'd wake with stomach cramps at (dead on) 3.45am, start being sick (although, when I say sick, it was more dry heaving), until around mid-day, when the sickness bouts got further apart, then eventually, at around 4pm, I stopped being sick and felt better.

I initially thought it was a bug I'd fed, but after dragging myself to the doctors on the last occasion, feel now that it was some late night food that had got stuck in my gut, hence the exact timescales - I do tend to eat quite late sometimes with my shifts, and the nights before the sickness tended to be 9pm eats, and "challenging" foods, - meat etc.

The upsetting thing about something like this is how no one wants to take full responsibility for you. I was obviously worrying about band slippage with all the heaving, the doctors think it's "just a bug that will go away", without thinking about the band aspect, the surgeon/band hospital just say it's a stomach bug and to see the doctor - no one wanted to help.

My years period of free fills is coming to an end soon, too, and this is another worry that you don't think about at the beginning - what if you aren't at your sweet spot? what if you're ill again and need emergency de-fills and then fills again - all at £250 a pop?!

I need to be sure I'm at the right place before everything runs out on 10 July, that's for sure.

Anyway, the good news from it all is that I lost a good bit of weight in a short length of time - previously been 1lb here and there, very slowly, but am now 11 st. 03lb (BMI 27, 76% excess weight loss), and feeling really really happy now. My clothes are fitting well, I feel nice again. I still want to lose more, but if it didn't happen, I'd be ok with it.

I still have the exercise route to go yet too.

Anyway, this was only meant to be a quickie (and I will have to go back and edit any mistakes later) - cos I'm rushing, packing for my first festival of the year! "Glastonbudget" is a weekend of tribute acts! Sounds bobbins, and it may well be, but I look at it this way, if the sun is shining, and the beer is cold, it doesn't matter what the entertainment is! And at least it'll be all classics being played instead of obscure album tracks! We also can't forget that the REAL Bad Manners are playing too! All that for £47! Better than the £140 each PLUS £60 for camper vans at V Festival.

Anyway, back to packing all the cheap vest tops and linen trousers I can now buy cheap from my local Primark/H & M!!!

(Thanks Technomist for spurring me on to add another entry!).

Well, I *am* a bit of a slack alice, not been on for ages! Mind, I've been really busy with real life stuff - preparing my fellas house for going on the market, psyching myself up to prepare my own house, then crashing my new (to me) car that I'd only had less than 24 hours - these things are sent to try us, eh?

Anyway. I'd kinda been stuck at a plateau for a while, at around 12 st 01 lb. But went for a mini fill last Monday (18th Mar), I'd actually *gained* 0.2 ml, but it looked as if my band had slipped a little bit - not too much and not enough to cause problems, but it's there. The doctor asked me if I remembered something specific - like a coughing fit or something, and I didn't. It wasn't 'till my mum reminded me about me dragging a double mattress up a flight of stairs, unaided, that I related it to anything. I can't say I remember "pulling" anything, but I have to accept that maybe I can't do everything that I used to, and that it'd be a shame to waste the £8,000 I paid for this op, just by being silly. I'll wait for help next time....

Anyway, since the fill, I'm trying really hard again. Back to low fat yoghurts and soups, although I'm also having them with textured food too. I've managed to lose 3 lbs this week (which is amazing), and I'm going to try for another 3 or 4 this week. I'm dying to keep going now. I've come to the conclusion that my platueaus are definitely when I start letting bad habits creep back in again.

I'm making sure I drink 2 lts water every day - and I think this (strangely)is working!

Anyway. Been buying myself losts of new jeans from Next - in size 14! Woohoo! Can't remember the last time I wore size 14's! Must have been about 1993... All my old clothes have been "taken in" as much as they can, all my smallest clothes from years ago are now too big - so a spending spree was necessary. They'll have to make do for a while now, though.

My BMI is now in the 20's - 29.something at the moment, I'm at 65% of my excess weight loss (EWL) and have gone from size 20/22 to a size 14. And the comments still keep coming!

Wish me luck - I want to get into the 9 stones - even if only 9 stone 13lbs - so I have another 2 stone to go. Gonna just do it a ½ stone at a time.

WEIGHT: 11 st. 11 lb.

Time for an update, methinks.

So. Christmas has been and gone. Went without event really, I managed to eat the largest meal I'd had for a long time - in a good way - managed a small dinner plate full, taking my time. No major problems, nothing. And it was the first year I didn't feel bloated and nasty for weeks on end.

I've totally lost my taste for a lot of past loves - Christmas always having being my time of year for fruit cake, mince pies, Christmas puds, etc. I've gone off them! Not sure if they're just too much trouble or what, but the appeal has gone. Not saying I'm a role model for good health or anything, just that heartburn isn't fun.

I went to the dietician the other day - disaster. I've only lost 2lb in 6 weeks - they expect 1 to 2 lbs a week really. The truth is, that I'm not sure how it's happened. I got to the point where I was only eating 1 tea plate of food a day, not on purpose, just because I was forgetting to eat. The less you eat, the less hungry you become. Now, when I WAS eating, it was junk, granted, but not a days worth of calories of junk, in one teaplate....

So, we came to the conclusion (one that I thought was just a fat persons excuse for not losing weight, but turns out it might be true...?) that my body had gone into starvation mode, becoming more effective at storing fat. This, coupled with the fact I'm still doing no excersise (this *IS* a fat persons excuse though, I'll admit to this one) - I'm leaving myself somewhere to go when the weightloss stops - and the junk was obviously not helping.

So, this week, I've really got back on track - been eating tasty prawn salads, soups, mueseli for breckie - and enjoying it! I think I go through fads - eat healthy for 6 months, get bored, eat junk for 6 months, get bored, etc etc.... Anyway, despite this, the weight is still not shifting as I want it to! What's that all about? Maybe I'm doing that impatient thing that I always do, I mean, I have lost 1 lb or so this week, that's kinda on track isn't it? I just thought that I might have one of my mega losses again. I'm also trying to get my 2 litres of water down, I really believe this aids your weight loss too.

I'm half cheesed off, half happy to be back on track, we'll just have to see how it goes. I did realise that my last pictures are from 1 stone ago, so I'm about due for new ones. That (hopefully) might cheer me up? I've got an excuse to use the posh new camera I got at Christmas too....

Other news in my world. Me and me man are doing up our seperate houses to sell, and buy a posh new pad nearby together. I mean, I practically live together now, except with two set of bills and mortgages. It makes sense after 6½ yrs together. I'm excited though, we've seen a house we both love, with a beautiful long view of the countryside from the living room - it's ace. Keep your fingers crossed that we'll sell ours and get this dream one.

Weight: 12 st. 05 lb.

Pictures on left - July 2007 - 15 stone (day before op)
Pictures on left of middle - October 2007 - 13 st. 5 lb
Pictures on right of middle- Nov 2007 - 12 st. 10 lb
Pictures on right - Feb 2008 - 12st. 3lb
Pictures on far right - Sept 2008 - 11 stone

Hello hello hello...

Just wanted to tell you, good news! My restriction has slackened off a little. Not so much that I can eat large amounts, I'm still sticking to a very small tea plate full, but I can eat more textured food, and am finding myself drawn back to healthy again (I'm not saying I'm totally there yet, but I'm not just craving mushy rubbish any more).

The weight is coming off again, very slowly but surely, I was 12 st. 10 lb today, I've managed to lose about 7lbs in a month. People really are starting to mention it to me at work... I bet I have at least 3 comments per day. It's really funny how you crave that sort of thing, then when it happens, whilst being (really) nice, it kinda just goes over your head. You accept it. I have a feeling that we'll never be happy.

All my clothes have gone from being too tight, to being ok, to being a little on the big side. But I have a full wardrobe of brand new clothes that I bought when I was big, got home and thought looked rubbish, still with tags on, that are looking ok now! Woohoo!

Anyway. Time for me to concentrate on being good again. The nasty weather has been making me crave cottage pie, meat and potato pie, stodge stodge stodge.

Weight: 12 st. 10 lb

Hullo!

I had my third fill last Wednesday. From my 6.4 ml fill last time, I'd just lost .4 ml and gone down to 6.0 ml. They've filled it to 7.4 ml, and I'm really, REALLY quite restricted. I thought I'd give it a bit of time to see if I lost a decent amount, but NO! I've only lost 1 lb in just over a week! But now I understand some of the things that people talk about on the websites I use. In the absence of being able to eat anything textured, I'm eating rubbish. Absolute rubbish. Puddings with cream slip down a treat, no problem. I'm not suggesting that I do this all the time, but certainly far more frequently than I want to. I'm not going to give it very long before I have a bit taken out. It's no fun & it's not natural. I just want to be able to eat salads again!

I can really only eat a tiny amount now, and it backs right up into my throat.

I'm still keeping fairly positive, but not sure how long that would last for.

The other thing to tell you is how squemish I went on the last fill - I was on the verge of fainting every time they put the bed upright for me to have the barium meal! 5 times in total, not sure they were very impressed with me, but they remained patient. Hopefully it's not something that I'll talk myself into every time I go. Dr Lees put me some Smiths on his i-pod though, which calmed me a bit - you can't beat a bit of the Smiths.....

Oooooh, edit to include, I got engaged the other day, at the ripe old age of 36..... Cue lots of "ring" comments....

Weight: 12 st. 12 lb.

I've been rubbish again, haven't I??

Well, just to update you on where I am, my weight is down to 13 st 2 lb now, still feels quite slow, and I was considering another fill because I'm certainly able to eat more than a tea plate sized portion at the moment.

However, I've just been on holiday for 4 days in the Algarve.

I struggled with EVERY meal.  I've PB'd my way through all my food, sometimes twice, and it's been throughly terrible for my other half who's had to pay for these meals and sit there alone whilst I've been in the toilet.  Now, why this happened, I have no idea!  Is it just a general tighter restriction that people talk about - that happens for no apparant reason?  Or have a got a little complacent and started bolting my food down more?  Anyway, I managed to put on a couple of pounds, regardless of all the PB'ing, which has now gone again within a couple of days of being back.  The PBing has stopped since being back home too...... it's all a mystery to me.

Anyway, I have my appointment with the dietician on Monday, I'm so unsure of whether or not to ask for a fill or not....  I'm scared of going down the route of over-restriction and the PBing that comes with it, it seems an unatural state to be in, unhealthy and no fun.  However, I'm still concious that I've only lost 2 stone since July 1st.  That's 4 months.  Mind, when I write it down, it's actually ½ stone a month, which is nearly 2 lb a week - ooooh I dunno.

Anyway, will keep you posted after Monday.  Maybe a discussion with the dietician will help me.  Unless there's anyone reading this that could comment??!

I was feeling quite good yesterday morning, I'd lost a good few pounds (was 13 st. 4lb) - however, I've been surviving on one meal a day for a few days. It's not a deliberate "get thin quick scheme" - although it seemed to work that way - more that I'm getting fed up - as I always do on diets - with preparing food. But instead of grabbing convenience food, I've gone without. So, I think the majority of weight loss was water, etc, and as soon as I had three small meals yesterday, I jumped back to where I would have been should I have eaten consistently! I'm actually 13 st. 7lb. I'm feeling like it's going slow again now! Another bad point to consider about not eating enough is the lack of energy you have - no gym for me for over a week now.

Anyway. On the up side, you can actually see now that I've lost some weight. People are commenting about it, which helps.

Out for tapas tonight. Oooooh don't shout at me, it's my BIRTHDAY today!! Woohoo!

I just wanted to add how good I'd been this week! How could I forget (my body's reminding me often enough!)? I've been to the gym every day this week, from Monday onwards! Not doing so great at the moment, but trying to take it steady and build it up a bit.

Also, my mate had a bit of a nightmare yesterday - she's been overfilled and had to go for an emergency defil - I'm so grateful that I've not had a bad episode yet. Especially as hers seems to have been brought on by going straight onto solids after a fill, something that I've always done and had not problems with. It's scared me a little bit.... she was sick so much that she's made her stomach swell, and couldn't even get her saliva down. Poor lass.

Also, a friend of my sister went in today - initially for a band and gall bladder taking out, but turns out she's ended up having the bypass! I hope it all goes well for her.
Good luck Debs.

Hullo!

Well, I had my appointment with my dietician last Monday. She was very good to me. When I told her I thought I'd lost a little restriction, she asked me what I'd eaten that day - I told her and was surprised how sloppy my diet had come unwittingly. That day I'd had Weetabix for my breakfast and soup for my dinner - both only for convenience because I was working early mornings, and I could grab both of them on my way out instead of preparing stuff. She advised me to try food with more texture to make me feel fuller for longer, and gave me an open appointment for my next fill, should the texture fail to work. I tried for a couple of days, but was still eating more, (or having to diet more...) and getting hungry. I waited until after the following weekend to give it a chance, but finally got in again this Tuesday.

I had a different x-ray man this time, Mr Collins, he was lovely, older (not as good eye candy as Mr Lee), very confident. Where Mr Lee had been asking me questions about the level of restriction, Mr Collins seemed to know what he was looking for on the x-ray a little more, and told me when my restriction was good. Personally, I like this approach. Makes me feel looked after instead of having too much responsibility!

Anyway, they took out only 5.0 mg from the band - I'd managed to lose 1.4 mg. He put this back in again to take me back up to my previous restriction of 6.4 mg again.

The restriction I'm feeling now is slightly more than when I had 6.4 mg in before. But I'm still ok. I can feel the lump in my throat when I gulp fluids now, never really had that up to now, and have PB'd a couple of times (one being a one-off pork sausage roll - see a link????!!), but not with any great pain. I put this down to eating relatively healthily for the majority of the time, and always very slowly. Eating like a slim person, I suppose - therefore it's got to be good, it's changing my eating habits already.

Last thing to say is that I've joined the gym again, been every day this week (although I'm taking it fairly slowly at the moment, I can't run 10 miles yet! ). Despite this, I've not lost anything this week - I know slow is good, but I had the thing tightened on Tuesday, it's now Thursday and I thought - especially due to the amount I've eaten (nowt) and the visits to the gym (and losing 8lb's in 8 days after the last fill) that I might have at least lost a pound???!!! But I guess that is too much optimism. I'm dying to get below the 13 st 10 lb mark as that's where I was for the majority of last summer, anything below that feels like a bit of a starting point for me. The point where I won't fit in any of my old clothes, etc.

Anyway. As of this morning, I'm still 13 st 12 lbs.

Maybe I need a super-fill. Mega-restriction. I don't WANT it, but maybe that's the way forward. We'll see.

Well, it still seems to be working ok. I've had a little bit of another "episode" again today with a slice of ham - only the second problem I've had since the op in the middle of July. I had all the burping and sliming etc, but managed to keep it down ok. I'm now wondering if it's a bit of a problem with pork (my last episode at V was a pork pie, remember?) or whether I ate too fast again. I'm going to try another slice of ham a bit later, chewing it RIGHT well, to see).

I did manage to eventually lose 8lbs in 8 days (got down to 13st. 11 lbs, but have put 2 lbs back on again - so much for me moving the scales out of the bathroom).

Anyway. Thats all for now. Seeing the dietician on Monday so will let you know what she's got to say.

It's a week after my first fill, and I'm feeling good!!

I have to say, the first couple of days were bad, I was expecting to feel, I dunno, different, I suppose, and I didn't. I wasn't sure if I was eating less because of the restriction, or because I was wanting it to work, but within a few days of "testing" the band, I find I can still eat ANYTHING, but I obviously have to take it slowly and chew every mouthful. But instead of this being a bind, I'm finding it's coming naturally. I can also only manage (at the moment) a very small tea plateful. I'm eating like a skinny bird, it's great!

I've eaten chicken, tomatos, salad, kiwi, a few mushrooms, a bit of pineapple, a lot of things on my "caution list", and been ok, so long as I'm careful. I've had no head hunger and am just feeling great. Is this just a honeymoon phase though?

I'm trying to get my protein down, having a lot of sardines and other fish, as well as generally trying to be healthy-ish. I love fish/seafood and salad anyway, so that side of things is easy. It's just my love of the evil side of things too that's made things hard in the past - pizza, chinese, indian junk etc....

Anyway, I've lost 6lb's this week, woohoo! This takes me to just 1lb under my lowest since the op ('just'? I'm over the moon) as I put a bit on before the fill - but has also taken me into the 13 stones (I'm now 13st. 13 lb.). I've hidden the scales today as I was getting way too obsessed - weighing myself, like, 4 times a day! I'm now going to get them out once a week.

I need to get some chewable vitamins and minerals though. And stick to my drinking 2 lts of water a day.

I'm now just worried about when my restriction will fail. Everyone warns you that the restriction on your first fill doesn't last very long - I've had an email from someone on the forum I use, saying that her restriction only lasted 2 weeks and she's been waiting some time for her second fill. Fingers crossed that my luck doesn't run out. I've been so lucky with every aspect up to now (except maybe my slow weightloss, but hey-ho).

I've had my first fill today. Good job really, I could eat anything, and was beginning to do so....

I went to the V Festival over the weekend, and had my very first "episode". I ate a pork pie (yeah, yeah, I know... been waiting for the fill though, and it WAS a weekend away), and it got stuck. I could physically feel it sat on top of my 'ole! So (and because I was already a little drunk) - I thought I'd wash it down with some wine - big mistake. The wine sat on top of the pork pie, and started burning me somewhere in my upper chest and throat. Much burping later, it finally went down without the need for me to be sick. It was unpleasant, but not unbearable. Although don't get me wrong, I'm sure it could have been worse.

Anyway, went for the fill today, a very hunky radiographer called Mr Lee was in charge. They laid me down on a bed (with a very kind nurse taping down my gown, to cover my boobs and my dignity!), and injected me with an anaesthetic that made me numb in no time. They then found my port on the x-ray (on my left hand side, near my ribs), and tipped the bed so I was standing upright. I was given the barium meal to sip (very white and chalky) whilst he filled the band with saline, all the time asking me about whether or not it was comfortable, etc. They eventually put 6.4 mgs in. My mum came in to watch - she saw my backbone and ribs, and the liquid going down, and everyfink!

I dunno how I feel at the moment, a little non-plussed, I suppose. I guess I was expecting to feel a bit different in myself, and I don't. I've not tried "testing" the band, just had a little soup, some rice pudding and then a very small amount of mashed potato and carrot with a little piece of tinned sardine. All of these things I would EXPECT to go down easily, and they have. The only difference at this time is when drinking water - I naturally gulp (I LOVE water), but I'm now having to sip it. Time will tell, no doubt, and I'll have to keep you posted.

Anyway. On an unrelated note, I feel a bit miserable cos I've got cold. I feel absolutely dreadful, and it WOULD happen whilst I'm on holiday from work... Never mind.

Some PS's - went to the support meeting on Monday - they are quite good and I'm lucky I get them as part of the package.

And last but not least - I'm not proud of myself, but I've put a little weight back on - Was 14st. 4lbs this morning, but hey ho, hopefully it all starts with the fill, they did warn me there may be little weight loss at first, but you kinda hope for more, don't you? I'm only adding this because, maybe, sometime in the future, someone might be reading this and wondering if how they feel is normal. Well, I think anything goes. In fact, I think generally, I've been one of the VERY lucky ones.

Erm.... I've been really rubbish with this, haven't I?

I'm feeling really really good. My energy has come back with a vengence. Possibly something to do with me being able to eat absolutely ANYTHING!

I went to a support meeting exactly 6 days post op, and questioned whether the thick soup I was having was a problem (they'd recommended thin/clear soups) - the dietician said it was only to make sure you weren't sick. Well, I felt sure I could manage anything, and progressed very quickly from thick soup, to pureed chicken/mash/veg, to anything. I can eat bread, rice, anything. However, I'm managing to keep it in check, and am still losing weight, albeit REALLY slowly. I lost about 8lbs on the pre-op diet/the week after the op, and since then, has been coming off at a lb a week. But, according to all the support forums, a lot of people put weight on, or maintain, so I'm feeling quite good.

So, I go to see the surgeon on Monday, believe he's book me in for my first fill then, and that's when (hopefully) it'll start to come off. However, I feel bad that I'd geared myself up for it all, to lose the momentum, and now I've got to get my head into gear again.

The wounds are all healing nicely, and the port no longer causes me too much problem. Sometimes if I'm sat or laid in one position too long, it might be a bit uncomfortable, but no pain.

All in all, it's been a bit of a breeze. And for that, I'm really thankful.

Anyone reading this in the future, I hope you're having a similar experience.

Weight: 14 st. 0 lb.

I'm feeling better and better every day. Very little pain, and even the discomfort is going away. However, I tried to go out shopping yesterday, and it was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. Theres quite a lot of difference walking around the house, to walking around the shop - I came over all queer!

Anyway, after 4 days of my weight staying the same (4 days after my op, but actually 6 days in all), I've finally started losing a bit. 2lbs yesterday, another 1lb today - I've now lost 11lbs (I'm 14st 04lb). I KNOW I shouldn't be weighing myself every day - but hey! I've just had weight loss surgery - surely it's natural in the early days to want to know if it's working - if the weight IS coming off??

Anyway, I'm going to go to a support meeting at the hospital tonight - they hold them monthly. I'm going with my new computer/weight loss surgery buddy, Helen, it'll be the first time we've met. I'm looking forward to it.

Still on with the soups/smoothies, although I'm a little worried that I'm not thinning things down enough. I tend to have them quite thick. But I'm managing. I can gulp down water ok, so....?

The home made soups that I've had up to now have been roasted butternut squash (mmmmmm), mushroom, and leek & potato. I can't wait to eat solids though, although I'm not going crazy yet.